About two weeks ago my phone rang at 6:00 am
which is not that unusual since
I am a substitute teacher and
this is the time of day
I frequently get my assignments.
Each morning
when that phone rings two things happen.
First,
I curse because I have to get up.
NOW!
Second,
I get excited about the day.
I start to think about the kids
and the material we will be covering.
I love seeing different faces each day
and learning new subjects.
Every day when I go into the school
I walk away having learned something new.
I love my job.
My part-time job!
On this day,
the principal on the other end of the line
was out of luck.
He wanted me to come
into the high school that day.
I had to turn him down
because I was already booked
in another building.
But our conversation did not end there.
He went on to inquire
if I had some free time this week
to come talk to him
about a long term position.
Wow!
Great!
Sure!
Long-term positions sometimes
pay more than the day-to-day jobs.
This was a wonderful opportunity.
My eyes were open now.
Then he dropped the bomb!
"We need someone in the Phys Ed/Health Ed Department."
Huh!
Uugh!
You're kidding, right?
I have never done a single day
of Phys Ed teaching
in my entire life.
I think there must be someone
better for this job.
I don't want to do this.
But somehow at 6 am;
in my half awake mind
I agree to meet the principal the next day to discuss the position.
And here I am.
Two weeks later.
I am officially the long-term Phys Ed teacher.
My assignment,
as I have chosen to accept it,
has no
pre-determined end.
I will be serving the high school students in this manner
"until a newly hired teacher is able to take over the position."
There is a slight possibility that this could mean
until the middle of January 2009!
In the first four days of my new job
I have learned that
my gym shoes are ugly
and uncool by high school standards.
I hate wearing running/jogging pants.
I don't own a watch....
which is a very necessary tool for my job.
Jewelry is not allowed.
Lipstick doesn't go with running pants and sneakers.
No gum or drinks allowed in the gymnasium.
The locker room smells
worse than I remember.
I really don't like coaches......of any kind.
I lack the ability to motivate people
to do things they have no desire to do.
Softball is boring.
A mile is very long distance to run.
Teenagers will rarely run before lunch
unless you threaten their grades.
Gym class is cruel.
This covers what I have learned about Phys Ed.
You need to know there are two aspects of this job.
I also need to teach two sections of 11
th grade Health Ed.
Remember 11
th grade?
Remember 11
th grade health class?
I didn't remember until the principal said
"There may be certain parts of the health curriculum that will be uncomfortable for you."
As Oprah would say,
this was my Aah-Haa moment.
Oh, I get it!
Right.
Now I remember 11th grade health class.
More cursing (inside my head...I was standing in front of my boss.)
In four days of health,
I haven't learned much.
We are in the middle of chapter 9
Mental Health
I have determined that I do appear to be of sound mind.
Which makes me qualified to teach the dreaded next chapter.
That's right.
Looks like I won't be escaping this one.
Unless the administration can interview
and hire a new teacher by next Monday.
Because by then I will be smack in the middle of the
Contraception Chapter
Followed by STDs and
Fetal Development.
That's right.
Dear Lord!
Pray for me!
Oh yeah,
Did I mention that health classes are co-ed?
My favorite picture is this one.
